MOVES AND COUNTER-MOVES

If you find a class or a weapon that works against me, I'll tell you it doesn't take any skill.

If you team up on me, I'll talk down the value of teamwork.  I hate teamwork.

If you airblast me off of a cliff, I'll disconnect in mid-fall and re-join.  I have a key bind just for that purpose, so don't waste your time with it.  I don't find this tactic legitimate and so my counter is justifiable.

If you attack me from behind, I'll call it cowardly, or a gimmick, and in turn try and convince you to attack from head-on.  You'll be facing a wall of bullets from the Huo-Long Heater, and my medic will be safely behind me, but you'll at least have that satisfaction of playing your role of the doomed but courageous warrior correctly.  In turn, I will have more fun.   Your fun is not important; just keep attacking me head-on; I insist on it.

If your strategy isn't working and you change classes, I'll accuse you of rage switching.  I want you to go back to doing the thing that isn't working.  Don't rage switch - fuel my kill streak instead.  I haven't reached a 100-long kill streak quite yet, but you can still help.  In a future post, I will explain why Heavy is underpowered and needs new buffs and weapons.  A re-energized Heavy class combined with my skill should be able to reach multi-hundred consecutive kill-streaks, which seems much more equitable to me.

Don't be sneaky.  Don't use weapons and strategies that work on me (Sandman, Baby Face's Blaster, backstabs, arblasts, sticky traps, attacking when I am already damaged).  Come at me head-on.  To do otherwise will only put a damp, mildewy stain of shame on your play record.  You know this is true, do not deny it.

If you seek to learn from my winning strategy, please pay attention to this sample track I have prepared for you, you can try these time-tested messages on others.

Listen, and learn.